Slogans, Slogans, and More Slogans

January 29, 2008 at 12:07 pm | Posted in Life in the US, The Bucket | 5 Comments

I revel in incongruity, and what better place to find it than on English language T-shirts worn by those who don’t speak or understand English. 

There was the girl who studied English where I taught in Cancun with the T-shirt that said “Blondes do it better.”  Sure, we do it better, but this young woman’s hair was as black as a crow’s wing.

And the dimunitive Mayan man with the T-shirt that said, “I’m shy…but I’ve got a big dick.”  I wonder if he knew what he was advertising.

I’m now compiling a list of slogans that I’d like to see on T-shirts.

Number one right now is “Fuck it, I live in the Bucket.”  I adore this slogan, and would want to rock a T-shirt that has it all day, every day.  However, I am wary of the profanity.  But this slogan encapsulates so much about the attitude of the Bucketeers very succintly.

I’m not sure if it was the Pawtucket Arts Council or some other institution, but when they were pushing the dubious arts renaissance, someone came up with the slogan “Pawtucket, the Paris of Blackstone Valley.”  Um, not so much.

I’d prefer something more truthful, like “Come to Pawtucket, We’re Scrappier.”  Unfortunately, when I ran this one by a friend, she heard “Come to Pawtucket, We’re Crappier.”  With the city’s inferiority complex, I hesitate to highlight anything that could be construed as encouraging the generally downtrodden nature of a city who is in the process of defining itself.

This sentiment led me to dismiss the next slogan, “Welcome to Pawtucket! Now Fuck Off!”  This one is unfortunately very close to the truth, what with the city’s schizo approach to alternately pushing for investment and growth and then making the process of setting up shop here utterly frustrating and circuitous.

The last slogan is time-sensitive, what with the funding cycle for Pleasant View Weed & Seed over and only one year left for Woodlawn Weed & Seed.  I hope to make my last Weed & Seed hurrah a limited-edition run of T-shirts that say “Woodlawn Weed & Seed: We Make Less Bad Shit Happen in Your Neighborhood.”

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5 Comments »

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  1. Madison Avenue awaits you, it’s newest copy writer.

    I like “We’re Scrappier”, but I can see the problems if heard incorrectly. I also like “Shoot the Moon In Cancun”, with a big picture of a fat hairy ass in a thong. Not sure if I actually saw that somewhere or if it was part of some horrible nightmare.

  2. If you did, please take a picture and send it to me.

    I’ve had enough views of asses in thongs, hairy and otherwise, to have singed my eyeballs.

  3. My favorite so far has been a little Mexican sad-looking fat kid wearing a t-shirt, which simply read in giant English letters, “Leave Me Alone.”

  4. Ooh, that one is DEFINITELY worthy of a picture. Maybe even one of those commemorative plates.

  5. Wanna talk incongurous? Gol TV, channel 140 in my house, has international soccer games. The commentary is in English, but the ads are in Spanish. No word of a lie.

    I always thought of RI as The Fuck You state, with appropriate state ‘bird.’

    And, really, The Bucket is it’s own slogan. I know what a bummer it can be at times, but I know that there are a lot of smart, talented people focusing energy here right now.

    Still, I’ll go out on a laugh. I was describing P’t’ck’t to a New Yorker (n’yawkuh), and he said, “Oh, Pawtucket is the Yonkers of Providence,”


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